At the age of 18, many of us are bitten by a were-academic. This afflicts us with a curse from which it takes approximately four years to recover, unless you luck out and manage to fail sooner than that.
After this, if not before, we are bitten by a were-employee. This curses us to waste most of our waking hours in pursuit of a goal we cannot enjoy or understand. We are compensated for this with small metal objects, which we can trade for food and shelter. Some choose to see this particular affliction as “purpose”. But all agree it is less enjoyable than doing nothing.
Another sizeable portion of us, usually between the ages of 16 and 35, are bitten by a were-parent. This causes a much more stressful and time-consuming curse, from which it takes at least 18 years and nine months to be anywhere near recovery. Though our parents and our parents' parents have all been subjects to this illness, they do not warn us properly. Some try to explain, but evidently do not try hard enough – because the planet remains vastly overpopulated, growing more so by the day.
As we approach semi-freedom from the curse of the were-parent, we must watch in horror as our child—now an adult—is bitten by the new, more financially-draining form of creature, the were-academic. We misremember and misrepresent our own youths so as to not panic our child as to the nature of adulthood. “It was great,” we say. “Best years of my life.”
And if we do somehow manage to help our child evade capture by the were-academic, it only means the were-employee will catch them all the sooner. Unless, that is, our servitude to employment has been enough to provide for the child a life of leisure. If all goes well, they might pass the threshold of 35 years, free of degree, job or child. That is our dream. Our dream, as a parent. A dream that almost always shatters. And when it does come to fruition, it often results in the child becoming a selfish, sociopathic monster.
Really, there's no escape.
You can spray yourself with anti-human toxins and try to avoid all contact with the outside world, but chances are that something or someone will bite you.
And no matter how well you prepare, around the age of 73 or long before, you will be bitten by a were-corpse. We don't know how to avoid this yet. Just try to get everything you need to do done by then.