The Christmas assassin, or Christmassassin, finds a face behind each door on his advent calendar. That is his next target. He has to kill that person and stop at nothing to get it done.
He sees many faces behind the advent calendar's doors. Some he recognises, some he does not. Politicians, actors, that lady who lives down the street, that guy who works at the bank. He kills them all. It's not important how he does it. He'd never tell you how, anyway. But he does it, and he does it well. Morally dubious though it is, the Christmassassin takes pride in his work.
On Christmas Eve, he opens the advent calendar's door to find a picture of a penguin. He recognises it at Rocky Hopper, the penguin who runs that illegal all-night casino at Edinburgh Zoo. Now, Rocky is well connected. In flipper-deep with all kinds of organised crime shenanigans. Surrounded by heavies. No way anyone could sneak past the guards and get to him.
But the Christmassassin does it anyway. Don't ask me how he does it. It's a trade secret, I guess.
But one way or another, the criminal penguin Rocky Hopper is found dead on Christmas morning, with a beak full of fish. Choked on a mackerel. That's the official story. I mean, I've heard of sleeping with the fishes. But never "sleeping with the fishes in his mouth".
The Christmassassin arrives home in the early hours if Christmas. A job well done. But there's one last thing to do. The final job of the season. He opens the little door marked "25".
But behind the final door, for Christmas day, he finds....his own face.
Noooooo!
No, no, no! Merry Christmas.