It turns out that if you take a whole unopened packet of A4 paper to a greengrocer and ask for the “A4 special”, the grocer will give a quick, understanding nod and feed the paper into a machine, out of which will pop four plump, ripe avocados.
“There you go, the A4 special. Four avocados. Good choice,” the grocer will say. It is not known how greengrocers make money from this, but it happens all the time. Try it as often as you can.
I for one would like to know how the avocado machines work, and whether I can purchase one to have in my home. I imagine it will continually pump out delicious avocados for a long time – as long as I can feed it A4 paper. Perhaps it will finally stop when all the trees are gone from this earth – so no more paper – but I imagine we'll all be dead by then, from oxygen deprivation or something worse.